August 10, 2026

My brain can’t switch off

My brain can’t switch off, so I’ve stopped forcing it to

Here’s what I do instead

Recently I have been exhausted, worse than I’ve felt in a long time. And I’ve felt like I’ve done everything right to manage it. And none of it has worked.

The exhaustion kicked in around the last two to three weeks of the school term, before the summer break. I felt beyond capacity. As much as it pains me to slow right down sometimes, I now know I have to. So I took a step back from building my business, put less pressure on myself to get chores done, and rested as much as I could. This meant laying for a good amount of my day in the garden, enjoying the good weather we’ve been having in the UK. I did little bits of work here and there, when I felt I could.

But despite all the rest I got, it did nothing for me.

My body would twist and turn, my jaw would try and unclench, my muscles trying to stretch with nowhere to go.

Then came the summer holidays…

…with the prospect of seven weeks with no time to myself. I was looking forward to the time with my kids, looking forward to no school run and a simpler routine. But seven weeks without an airhole felt daunting to say the least.

In the first couple of weeks we went out every morning (I find it easier being out of the house with them, than in all day!). I did, however, encourage them to play independently for a couple of hours most afternoon’s so I could get some admin done and / or rest. But last week I felt like I hit a wall. The rest I was getting, wasn’t helping, i.e. the chances I was getting to enjoy doing nothing didn’t refresh me. At all.

When does nothing become something

Over the last year I have done plenty of ‘nothing’. I’ve sat with just a cup of tea for company. No phone, TV or book. Just me and my thoughts. It’s given me space to process the past. The space even gave me an idea for my business (still in progress). But this space for my soul has only been productive to a point.

Recently all that space as allowed for, is for my thought’s to start flipping over conversations from a couple of days ago. ‘Did I say the right thing? Could I have spoken up more? What did their comment really mean?’ The hours I was resting, was really my brain just spiralling, and with it, the tension in my body just spiralling too.

And then I realised, that when I’m doing nothing, my brain is always doing something.

And this morning as I attempted meditation, which fell flat on it’s face once again, a thought that had kept coming to me, finally, fully, clicked into place.

“In order for me to actually relax, my brain needs something to do”.

The click fell into place when, during my meditation, my peace was disturbed yet again by my thoughts. They first begin to flicker and pass through, but then they take hold to the point that I forget I was even meditating at all. So I tried a technique I’ve tried before…I told my brain to focus on the sounds it could hear in the garden, rather than forcing it into no-mans-land. And this time…Hey Presto, it worked.

How ironic that focusing on the sound, is what silences the brain.

And this is what clicked…

I realised by falling into the bracket of high-functioning anxiety, my brain needs something to do. It needs something to engage it just enough, a small focus, a distraction, that will curb the spiral enough to let my body exhale.

As with me, a lot of my anxiety lives in the body. My body does not know what full relaxation feels like. Far from it. I know why, I’ve written and processed the ‘why’. The fact is my nervous system has learned to be hyper-vigilant. And forcing it not to be that way has become a bit of an inward battle. But this morning was a break through…a lightbulb moment.

This morning I realised I need to stop forcing my brain to rest.

As if I give my brain nothing to do, it will just focus on processing life (consciously or sub-consciously). Processing my life and my trauma has been helpful to a point, and it massively has it’s benefits. I don’t want to be misunderstood here. I’m a massive believer in slowing down and dealing with what’s sitting with you! But at some point there needs to be a full stop when the processing is only going over old ground and no longer productive to your brain or your body.

So now when I need a rest, rather than forcing nothing on my brain, here’s what I’ll be doing instead:

1 . Reading

It gets my brain focusing on someone else’s storyline instead of my own. The side to side eye motion is also great for calming your mind and nervous system.

2 . Colouring

My brain is focusing on colouring in the line’s, not where my life’s gone out of them. Also a joy for my inner child.

3 . Crosswords

9 across in 6 is the kind of activity my brain thrives on.

4 . Jigsaw Puzzles

My brain is focusing on piecing together something other than my anxiety. Another big tick for my inner child too.

5 . Meditation – sound based

Listen for the sounds and the rest will come.

6 . My Mindpal app

Brain training games on my phone can be beneficial for my adult brain and my inner child. I don’t go to this one as frequently as the others, as I try to keep off my phone as much as possible.

7 . Writing

This allows me to process productively. The thoughts mostly end with a full stop. Allowing me to move on with my day.

8 . Lego

I love doing Lego with my son and have been gifted my own Lego before. A structured activity for my brain is a win.

Enjoying these activities are not only what make me, me. These activities are my lifeline. They provide a simple job for my brain and low stimulation for my nervous system. My happy in-between.

This is not to say I will never sit with just a cup of tea for company again…I do and I will. I’ll offer myself space to process…always. But when the exhaustion hits, and the silence is no longer productive, these activities will now be my go-to.

If you have the same problem with struggling to switch off, what happy in-between activities do you turn to? X